Two and a Half Men
Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men (2003)

"Two adults. One kid. No grown-ups."

7.4 (3563 votes)
12 Seasons
September 22, 2003
English
Comedy

Synopsis

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Creator

Jim Patterson, Oren Koules, Chuck Lorre

Network

CBS

Episodes

Pilot
E1

Pilot

Sep 22, 2003
23 min
6.5

Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

Big Flappy Bastards
E2

Big Flappy Bastards

Sep 29, 2003
21 min
7.2

Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
E3

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Oct 6, 2003
21 min
7.3

Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
E4

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

Oct 13, 2003
21 min
7.6

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
E5

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

Oct 20, 2003
19 min
7.3

Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
E6

Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

Oct 27, 2003
21 min
6.8

The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
E7

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

Nov 3, 2003
21 min
7.6

Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
E8

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

Nov 10, 2003
19 min
7.2

Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

Phase One, Complete
E9

Phase One, Complete

Nov 17, 2003
21 min
6.8

Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

Merry Thanksgiving
E10

Merry Thanksgiving

Nov 24, 2003
21 min
7.1

Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
E11

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Dec 15, 2003
20 min
6.9

When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

Camel Filters and Pheromones
E12

Camel Filters and Pheromones

Jan 5, 2004
21 min
7.0

Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

Sarah Like Puny Alan
E13

Sarah Like Puny Alan

Jan 12, 2004
20 min
6.7

Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

I Can't Afford Hyenas
E14

I Can't Afford Hyenas

Feb 2, 2004
21 min
6.8

Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
E15

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

Feb 9, 2004
21 min
6.9

Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.

That Was Saliva, Alan
E16

That Was Saliva, Alan

Feb 16, 2004
21 min
7.0

Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
E17

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

Feb 23, 2004
20 min
7.3

Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

An Old Flame with a New Wick
E18

An Old Flame with a New Wick

Mar 1, 2004
21 min
7.1

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
E19

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

Mar 22, 2004
19 min
7.2

Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
E20

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

Apr 19, 2004
21 min
6.9

Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

No Sniffing, No Wowing
E21

No Sniffing, No Wowing

May 3, 2004
21 min
6.9

Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
E22

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

May 10, 2004
21 min
6.7

When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

Just Like Buffalo
E23

Just Like Buffalo

May 17, 2004
21 min
7.4

When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

Can You Feel My Finger?
E24

Can You Feel My Finger?

May 24, 2004
21 min
7.0

Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

Cast

Trailer

Details

Original Title

Two and a Half Men

Status

Ended

Seasons

12

Episodes

262

Production

Warner Bros. Television, Chuck Lorre Productions, The Tannenbaum Company